I Have to Say Goodbye for Now
July 19, 2001 while I was at work and my cell phone rang. It was my husband's work place calling to tell me that Wendell (my husband) had suffered a heart attack. I asked if he was alright and the lady informed me that he hadn't survived. My company called the EMT's for me (I went into shock) and they told me that they didn't know if he had died.
I called my pastor's home, and his wife came to pick me up to take me to the hospital, which was 45min from where I worked. While we were on our way, Jesus told me that He had taken Wendell home and was holding him in His arms. He then allowed Wendell to tell me goodbye. He said, "I have to say goodbye for now, but I love you and I know that you loved me." So when we arrived at the hospital, and the doctor came to tell me that Wendell had not survived, I told him that I already knew that because God had told me. When I went in to see Wendell I felt this peace come over my whole being. I now know what the peace that passes all understanding means in the Bible (Philippiand 4:7).
My Pastor, his Wife and I went to the chapel to wait for Wendell's sister. There was a man all alone in the emergency room and I asked him if he was alright and he told me that he had a stroke and they were going to fly him to Phoenix. I asked him if he would like for me to pray for him and he said yes. So I did pray for him which made me feel even more at peace.
When the day came to go to the viewing at the hospital, I was in my car with my friend and my children. I looked up into the sky, there were only a few clouds in the sky, and there were two perfect hearts one was empty and the other was full. That really lifted my spirit.
At this point I need to tell you all some background of Wendell. He was raised a Mormon and was one until he learned what a true relationship with Jesus was. Also the only arguments Wendell and I would have is over my fear of speaking in front of people. I would take college classes and would do really well until I was supposed to give a speach and then I would drop the class.
So I decided that I would speak at Wendell's funeral. Out of respect for his family, we had his funeral at the local Mormon Church. I told them it was alright as long as my pastor could be a part of the service.
I stood in front of the whole church and asked the Spirit to speak through me. I didn't realize most of what came out of my mouth, but apparently I told the whole church that no church would save them only a personal relationship with Jesus would save them. It was alot longer than that, but that is it summed up.
My daughter found a tape recording of Wendell after he had died and said Mom you have to listen to this. On the tape Wendell said "I love you, Iove you Sue, I love you, love you, love you. So I still have his voice on tape saying he loves me.
One day, about a month after he died, I was feeling really sad, and the Lord said to me, "Do you want me to give him back to you? I can do that you know!" I really had to think about it, but I could not be so selfish to ask Wendell to come back here after knowing the glory of God. So, I refused God's offer, and said, "No that's alright. I will just miss him."
A couple weeks after that encounter with God, I was on the computer looking for a Christian job on Christianet and I saw a place for penpals. I signed up, because I thought it would be nice to have someone to write to at night, because nights are the saddest. On Wendell's birthday, I got a letter on there from my current husband whose wife had died a year before. He wrote to me often, and finally we met. God never leaves us or forsakes us (Hebrews 13:5). We married not long after that and he helped me greatly with the mourning process. Our God is Good ALL the time.
God knew that I was not good at being alone so He provided a Christian man to be with me. Yes, I still miss Wendell, but he is in a much greater place. Amen